Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Interview Number One...


Will(Hero): Interviewee
Skylar(Heroine),Morgan: Interviewers
Chuckie: Will's friend

Will gets an interview scheduled through his Consultants.

[Titles Start]

Will gets up late in the morning. He is forced to finish his morning routine quick. By the time he comes out of bathroom, power is gone. He glances at the clothes, which he was planning to iron and wear for the interview, with despair. He goes to the closet and tries mixing and matching and finally comes up with a pair satisfactory to him.

Since he is late, Will takes help of his buddy Chuckie. Chuckie agrees to drop Will at the interview location. But he cant be there for long coz 'he has to go see about a girl'. They are on their way. Will is already tensed thinking about the interview and on top of that there is a chance that he might be late to reach the place. POVs of Will and Chuckie are shown on the way.

Will hesitates while climbing stairs... By the time he reaches the venue for interview, the interviewers are already in and are seated comfortably.

[Titles End]

He enters the room for face to face interview. Interviewers are Skylar and Morgan. He gets himself seated across the table to both.

Interview starts with "Kem chos". Then it goes to tell me about yourself. Morgan takes anchor's role. Will starts with a voice full of confidence and goes ahead with his description. Then he faces the same question which was asked to him by a zillion people on numerous occasions, "where is your company located?" Will crosses that hurdle.

Morgan sizes up the guy who is sitting across the table, as he speaks. So does Skylar.

How about your studies, college etc. ?

I took my bachelors from QWE college in RTY stream in the year 1234.

How and when you started your professional career ?

I started my carrier in ZXCV that was in 9876. Then I moved to my current employer.

Will still looks tensed. Since Morgan has some knowledge about the college where Will studied, to lighten the tense air he diverts the topic a bit.

Do you have any idea about the present activities in college, about teachers etc.?

[Thinking]What sort of question is this? [/Thinking]Yes, but not much. Heard that there are lot many problems reported and that there is politics involved. Now most of the teachers who interacted with us are gone... either transfer or higher studies.

Where do you stay, by the way?

You know QWERTY building? Opposite to that. I am staying with my friends.

Morgan leaves the scene, asking Skylar to go ahead with the interview.

So... Tell me about your work and how much you rate yourself in your area ?

I am into Mobile repairing. I have worked for mobile company X for couple of years. Now I am working on Y and Z mobile phones. I ll rate myself 8/10.

Morgan also does something on Mobiles. But I don't know much about that. I am into Mac Book servicing.

I don't know anything about Mac Book. Please go ahead with your questions.

[Thinking] God... I don't know what to ask. What should I do? I will be frank with him. That is the best way.[/Thinking]
This is the first time I am taking an interview. I don't know what to ask.

[Thinking]If you don't know what to ask, how will you find out whether I match the requirement? Or is it that you are not clear about what you want? [/Thinking] I ll divulge one more thing. I have some malicious code on my machine. But it appears rarely. Rest assured there are no bad sectors.


I said rarely.

When you say malicious code... Is it a worm or a virus?

(Smiling) It is kind of both.

Ok. Now a days it is very common. [Thinking] Is this an anticipatory bail? Or he is being sincere? I don't get what this guy is driving at [/Thinking]

But that is not an excuse. Moreover, the consultancy who sent me here does not know about this. I know that they are quite used to not having any malicious code and are totally against it. So I don't know how they react if they know this.

Anymore questions ?

I told you this is the first time I am taking an interview and I don't know what to ask.

[Thinking] OMG... is this another way of saying 'Not Selected'? Let me try this [/Thinking]
Okie... Take down my number and if you have any questions don't mind calling.

[Skylar takes down the number and gives a call from her cell and Will disconnects the call.]

[Morgan Rejoins....]

Is it over Skylar? Alright Will... Our HR will let your Consultants know about the result.

[Thinking]Why can't he say in plain simple English whether I am through with this round or not.. rather than giving a vague answer like this? [/Thinking]

[After One Month...]

Hi Skylar...

It has been a month since we met for the interview... I understand 'no answer' is answer "NO".

I called you up to say Thanks... for keeping my secret a secret. When I told you the things, I was just thinking about being sincere or frank... My friend appraised me about the other side, which I overlooked... then I became a bit worried... thought it might get relayed to my consultants as a feedback, which would have been a catastrophe. Thought of calling you a couple of times... but then I realised it is a little too late.

Secrets should remain as secrets right? Sorry for what happened. No hard feelings please.

Thanks for your discretion. No Problem. When you go on this mode, all these are expected even though you are optimistic.

That is nice of you to say. All the best in your search.

[After 4-5 hours]

Hi.... This is Will again.

Oh ho... What is it?

I ll start... I respect your decision. I m not trying to impress you. I know it is a bit odd when I call you... coz you have already called it quits. Moreover I understand it is all about catching the best fish, either way. Since the HR round didn't happen, I kind of figured out that a better fish is already captured, which likes chocolate layer or any other layer.


I ll come to the point. I need help.

(Sighs!!!) Go ahead. you started playing it straight, stick to it. Remember these are all your interpretations. I have not said anything.

Okie... If it is possible to you.... Could you tell me the reason why the rejection happened? I am asking it because I ll be taking the same steps and meeting another interviewer in the near future. I don't want this phase to happen again. So... If it is something I can correct, I ll correct it and go. I would like to get a feedback. You don't have to be considerate... Since I am asking for it, be blunt. Rest assured, I can take it whatever it may.

[Thinking] Oh God!!!!! What a specimen. Lucky that he didn't get selected.[/Thinking] See... It's not your fault. It is not that there is something wrong with you. When we got a candidate who fits the exact requirement, we selected him. And as you know, we have only one vacancy.

Alright. Thanks... for your time and for listening patiently. Bye.


Will looks dejected after the call. Once the interview got over he was optimistic that he might get selected. Now that he got the result he lies on his back and looks at the ceiling fan and thinks about the incidents of the interview day. Chuckie comes to Will's room and finds him low on spirit. He gets the reason from Will. He drags Will out to the nearest cafe and there they are joined by their friends...

Chuckie talks about the girl whom he is going to meet for dinner.

I am going for dinner with 'my girl'. I have decided. This is my girl.

I am at a loss how you figured out this is your girl... that too in one look!!!

It was impulsive. She was a stunner.

But a person's identity is made by his/her character. You agree to it?


Then how can you decide just on looks? I agree that looks also matter but...

Brother, I started with looks let me meet her a couple of times and talk then I ll figure out.

What happened to that girl whom you met on the day of my interview?

(Grinning)She dumped me. In fact she stood me up that day.

Will: STOOD YOU UP !!!!! she stood you up???? Oh man... That is disgusting.

[Now Will is not thinking about the interview... he is busy with friendly banter. Everything back to Normal]

Saturday, April 19, 2008



Adam : A level headed bloke, who, when drinks keeps some part of his 'consciousness' alive so that he can send SMS's

Bob : Another gem, who remembers all his 'drink-n-vomit' record with remarkable precision.

Charles : Poor chap who couldnt make it to the Friday evening-session. He is gifted with the ability to identify people from their vomiting sounds.

Dale : Another rare specimen who drinks rarely, but when present in the area cuts through the touchings like a piranha and also keeps track of all the words spoken in that session and will reproduce exact sentences if anyone starts denying the words the next day. He is next door neighbour to the first three.

Here we go...

Friday evening... A(dam) gets an invitation from B(ob) and proceeds to the nearest wineshop. He picks up drinkables in general or whisky, soda etc... in particular. B gets food and supportive items required for the session. They got message from C(harles) that he wont be able to make it to the session.

So it starts with A and B. They start slowly and in approx 1hr the bottle is quarter full or three quarters empty. At that time D(ale) steps in. Slowly the topic shifts to girls, love and marriage. Details of crushed crushes and failed proposals come out in due course... Around midnight D goes to sleep. A finishes his food and goes to sleep in another 15-20 mins, leaving B alone with the bottle.

A wakes up at seven next morning and sees the room, which was the session-room the previous night, in a complete mess. He checks all the rooms and finds B in sound sleep and C up and reading a paper.

A : Hey, when did you come in ? Have you seen this ?
C : Around 2 in the morning and found the place exactly as it is now.
A : Okie.
C : I heard someone vomiting in the bathroom. That was shortly after I went to bed. I was so tired that I didnt bother checking who it is. But I thought I recognised the voice.
A : Who was it ?
C : You.
A : What ? I was sleeping and I didnt go to bathroom after twelve. I went to bed at around twelve-thirty and after some time B also went to bed and I was half asleep when I saw B getting up and walking back to the session-room and I heard vomiting sounds. Since I knew B was there I didnt get up from bed. After sometime I remembered that you are outside. Then I got up from the bed and went to that room. Lights were out and no one was in the room. I turned the lights back on so that when you come in you wont walk on the mess. I tried to call you but strangely my moblie was showing "no network coverage". Then I tried to send an SMS. That also failed. Then I went to bed and was asleep till moring.
C : What was the time gap between you seeing B going to the room and you getting up ?
A : I dont know. I was in halfsleep state when I saw him and went back to sleep. It must be ten-fifteen minutes. Wait, I can tell you the time. I called you last at 1.15 AM as per my mobile record.
C : Alright. That almost sets the time you turned the lights back on.

A and C cleans the place and goes out for breakfast and comes back by Ten. At Ten thirty B wakes up and sees A and C reading newspapers.

B : Good Morning Guys...
A : Did you have any problems after drinks last night ?
B : No. Why? Did you have any?
A : Last night someone created a mess here. Was that you ?
B : No. I went to bed soon after you and just now woke up.
A : But I saw you get up and go to the room and heard vomiting sounds also.
B : Is this some kind of bluff ? Nobody vomited. Moreover I dont see anything here.
C : Oh, now it is our problem that we cleaned the place!!!!!!!!
B : Stop the bluff... I know if I vomited and I have no problem in admitting it. I am not feeling any effect on my body. Now see my clothes... it is clean. Check the bed that is also clean. How can you accuse me? You must be the one who did it or A.
A : Now let me tell you something. Yesterday you went way over the board. If you dont believe my words, we can check with D.
B : But that doesnt mean I did anything you guys say.

D enters the room after getting a call from A.

D : (to B) Aliya do you remember what you did last night? You were trying tongue twisters to prove that you are not drunk.
A : How was our condition when you left us last night ?
D : What happened ? Anything wrong?
A : We are trying to put two and two together and we are getting eight !!!!!. Can you help us ?
D : What ?

D listens to all arguments and finally sits puzzled.

A,B,C and D thinks to themselves : Did I create the mess yesterday ?

One bottle whiskey + soda + softdrinks...... Rs 900
Food and supporting items........... Rs 350

Mystery as in an Agatha Christie novel the next morning...... Priceless.....

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Wedding bells...

I was off net for a couple of weeks.... it is the lengthiest break I ve taken in the last 4 years or so.

My cousin D, who was my sister, neighbour, adviser, boss etc... for the last 20+ years... got married.

Till date not a single week passed without us getting into some sort of fight... ;)

As the great day approached we all became too busy running around to get things done or receiving relatives and friends who dropped in....
One day when I woke up it was Friday and the marriage was on Sunday. But at the next instant it is Monday the day after marriage. Days went that fast...

As the day approached realization dawned on me... my kid sister, who followed me around, has become a woman and is going to get married.

She kept her smile through out the function. When she was leaving the house we all thought of a break down. But to our surprise she held her smile and let that moment pass by...

So typical of us.... We got into our next fight inside a week :)

Friday, January 11, 2008

Days of Thunder... err. only DD

One fine morning our TV Remote stopped working. Many a doctor tried to bring him back to life, but he remained dead. We changed the cells with no effect. Then it occurred to us.... sometimes things get exhausted and gadgets also 'die'.

Walking up to the TV set and changing channels manually is not meant for a lazy group like us. We set some music channel and started with our friendly banter... Since the 'remote crisis' was there in the back of every one's head, suddenly the days of single channel a.k.a DD days became the topic. Days of "Ramayan" and "Mahabharath". How each one of us watched it... I remember watching those with full family and neighbours. My mother used to get up early and finish her morning 'tasks' so that we are done with our breakfast and she can be free at the time they show these serials!!!!!!

Remember those Sunday supplements which covered the episode for the day dialogue by dialogue?

Then the discussion moved to ads... Vinod Khanna's "I use Cinthol. Do you ?" comes to mind so is the ever green Nirma ad.

Shockingly we all had The News, The world this week and also Surabhi in our top programmes list.

Don't know why we are still nostalgic about 'only' DD days. May be too much of choice has spoilt it now.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Adios... 2007

It is a stupid weather... when you don't want rain, it rains. It is already a chilled climate and rain is like pouring some spirit to a fresh wound. There is no power supply this morning too. BESCOM could not have planned a better time for this interruption. I was forced to take a cold water bath. That too for the last two days !!!!!!!!!

Going to office is a pleasure these days... I am going to Kerala today !!!!!!!!!

On the way to office it was good to see GREEN colour instead of the muddy red, after a long time. Somehow whenever I see green vegetation I get the feeling everything is fine. That is a good feeling when it comes to an year end.

Wish you all a merry Christmas and a happy New Year.

Friday, December 14, 2007


Keeping one point of contact (trusted of course) for one type of job has its pros and cons. You might have realised it earlier, but it occurred to me only recently. Till that day I saw only the brighter side.

It went like this.... We have a single point of contact for almost all our dress related stuff. It is the person who runs the nearest dry cleaning centre. For all queries, whether it is darning, stitching or whatever, we used to go to him and he was good in helping with directions.

As it is really cold during nights, we all pulled our jackets from wherever we dumped after July. It was then, that my friend realised there is a problem with the zipper of his jacket. As usual we started to the dry cleaning centre. But to our surprise it was closed.

We went to 2,3 shops without any luck. Finally we got a positive answer from one guy. He told he can fix it and asked for Rs.100 /- Like all the places we started bargaining straight away. Finally settled for 90 !!! After paying the bill, which he insisted, he was kind enough to divulge his "technique".

He'll get it repaired by another guy, who charges Rs.75-80. He kept on jawing. Once he was done with that, shamelessly he crossed the road and walked two blocks up to the actual repairer. If we were not going towards the dry cleaning centre for anything and everything, we would have found out that shop much earlier. Anyway it was a good lesson learned.

Somehow the scene from Veendum chila veettukaryangal came to mind. Samyuktha says "Vivaramillathore aalukal pattiykkum". How true.

When we reached our room our flatmate was ready with the quote of the day.

"They suck. Can they suck less ? "

Friday, December 7, 2007

ബേബി സിറ്റിങ്

ഹൈപര്‍ ആക്റ്റിവായ ഒന്നാം ക്ലാസുകാരി മരുമകളേയും അത്രയ്ക്കില്ലേലും അത്യാവശ്യം ആക്റ്റീവായ അനിയനേയും ബേബി സിറ്റ്‌ ചെയ്യേണ്ട (അങ്ങനെത്തന്നെ പറയാം എന്നു കരുതുന്നു) ജ്വാലി ഒരു ദിവസം എന്റെ തലയ്ക്കു വീണു.

രാവിലെത്തന്നെ അമ്മ “മോനേ എണീയ്ക്ക്‌... ഇന്നു ഞാന്‍ നിനക്കിഷ്ടപ്പെട്ട പുട്ടും കടലക്കറിയും ഉണ്ടാക്കി വച്ചിട്ടുണ്ട്” എന്നു പറഞ്ഞപ്പൊഴേ എനിയ്ക്കൊരു ഡൌട്ടടിച്ചതാണ്. സാധാരണ “ഡാ, എണീറ്റോ... ഇനീം വൈകിയാല്‍ തണുത്ത ചായ കുടിയ്ക്കേണ്ടിവരും” എന്ന ഭീഷണിയാണ് വെയ്ക്കപ് കോള്‍. മോനേ എന്ന്‌ അമ്മ എന്നെ വിളിയ്ക്കുന്നത് അപൂര്‍വ്വങ്ങളില്‍ അപൂര്‍വ്വമായി മാത്രം. ഇന്ത്യ വേള്‍ഡ് കപ്പ്‌ അടിയ്ക്കുന്നതിനേക്കാള്‍ അപൂര്‍വ്വം.

എന്റെ ചായകുടി കഴിയുമ്പൊഴേയ്ക്കും ചേച്ചിയും ഇളയമ്മയും അപ്നാ സന്താന്‍സ് സഹിതം വീട്ടിലെത്തി. അറ്റാച്മെന്റ്സ്‌ അവിടെ വച്ചിട്ട്‌ അവര്‍ അമ്മയുടെ കൂടെ “ദാ പ്പൊ വരാം. നീ ഇവരെ രണ്ടിനേം ഒന്നു നോക്കണേ” ന്നും പറഞ്ഞ്‌ ഗേറ്റുമടച്ച്‌ സ്ഥലം വിട്ടു, എനിയ്ക്ക്‌ തിരിച്ചൊരു ഡയലോഗ്‌ പോലും പറയാനുള്ള സമയം തരാതെ!!!!

ഏതായാലും പണികിട്ടി. ഇനി ഈ അമ്മാവനേയും അവനേക്കാള്‍ പ്രായംകൂടിയ മരുമോളേയും എങ്ങനെ തല്ലും പിടിയും ഉണ്ടാക്കാന്‍ അവസരം കൊടുക്കാതെ ഹാന്‍ഡില്‍ ചെയ്യാം എന്നൊര്‍ത്ത്‌ അവസാനം ഞാന്‍ ഫ്രിഡ്ജ്‌ തുറന്നു. അതില്‍ കണ്ട രണ്ട്‌ പായ്ക്കറ്റ്‌ ബിസ്കറ്റ്‌ പൊട്ടിച്ച്‌ രണ്ടുപേര്‍ക്കും നീട്ടി. രണ്ടും ബിസ്കറ്റിന്റെ കൂട്‌ നോക്കി ഒരെണ്ണം പോലും എടുക്കാതെ നിന്നു.

“എന്താ ബിസ്കറ്റ്‌ വേണ്ടേ ?”
“ഇത്‌ ഗുഡ്‌ ഡേം ക്രാക്‌ ജാക്കുമല്ലേ. എനിയ്ക്കു വേണ്ട“, ആണ്‍‌തരി പറഞ്ഞു. “എനിയ്ക്കും വേണ്ട”. മരുമോള്‍ അമ്മാവന്റെ കൂടെക്കൂടി.
“ഏനിയ്ക്ക്‌ കീം ബിസ്കറ്റ്‌ മതി”.
“എടാ നിന്റെ വായില്‌ കേടില്ലാത്ത ഒറ്റപ്പല്ലേലുമുണ്ടോ? ഈ ബിസ്കറ്റ് തിന്നാ മതി.” ഞാന്‍ കണ്‍ക്ലൂഡ് ചെയ്തു.

പണ്ട്‌ ബിസ്കറ്റ്‌ കണ്ടാല്‍ അത്‌ ബിസ്കറ്റ് ആണേന്നറിയാം എന്നല്ലാതെ അതിന് ബ്രാന്‍ഡുകളുണ്ടെന്നൊന്നും എനിയ്ക്കറിയില്ലായിരുന്നല്ലോ. ഇപ്പൊഴത്തെപ്പിള്ളേരുടെ ഒരു കാര്യം. എന്നൊക്കെ ആലോചിച്ച്‌ ഞാന്‍ ഫ്രിഡ്ജില്‍ കണ്ട നാരങ്ങയെടുത്ത്‌ രണ്ടിനും കൊടുത്തു.

പിള്ളേരു രണ്ടും കളിയ്ക്കാനായി മുറ്റത്തിറങ്ങി. അവരെ നോക്കാനായി ഞാന്‍ പടിയിലിരുന്നു. അവിടെ ഇരുന്നാല്‍, നെയ്യപ്പം തിന്നുന്നപോലെ, രണ്ടുണ്ടു കാര്യം. വഴിയിലൂടെ പോകുന്ന പെണ്‍കുട്ടികളേം കാണാം. വെറുതെ വായ്നോക്കിയിരിയ്ക്കുന്നത്‌ മോശമല്ലേ എന്നു കരുതി ഒരു മാതൃഭൂമി ആഴ്ചപ്പതിപ്പുമെടുത്തു. കണ്ടാല്‍ ഒരു ബുജി ലുക്ക് തോന്നിക്കോട്ടെ.

അങ്ങനെ ഇരിയ്ക്കുന്ന സമയത്താണ് രണ്ടും കൂടെ ഓടിക്കിതച്ച്‌ വന്നത്‌.

“ദീ.. ദീ... നോക്ക്‌ നോക്ക്‌... അതാ ഒരു ദിനോസറിന്റെ കുട്ടി തെങ്ങില്‍ കേറുന്നു.” ഞാന്‍ നോക്കി. ഒരു ഉടുമ്പ്‌ അടുത്ത പറമ്പിലെ തെങ്ങിന്റെ മണ്ടയിലേയ്ക്ക്‌ മന്ദമന്ദം കയറിപ്പോകുന്നു.

ഈ ദിനോസര്‍ ന്നു പറഞ്ഞാല്‍ എന്താ സാധനം? ഞാന്‍ ഒന്നുമറിയാത്തവനായി. അപ്പൊ രണ്ടും കൂടെ എന്നെ കളിയാക്കിത്തുടങ്ങി.

“ഈ ഏട്ടന് ഒന്നും അറിഞ്ഞൂട... നാഷണല്‍ ജ്യോഗ്രഫീലൊക്കെ കാണിയ്ക്കാറുണ്ടല്ലൊ” മരുമോള്‍ പറഞ്ഞു.
“അല്ലല്ല... അനിമല്‍ പ്ലാനറ്റിലാ കാണിയ്ക്കുന്നത്‌.” മരുമകളുടെ അമ്മാവന്‍ ഒരടിയ്ക്ക്‌ തുടക്കമിട്ടു. “ഞാനില്ലേ... കഴിഞ്ഞമാസം മലമ്പുഴ പോയപ്പൊ ദിനോസറിനെ കണ്ടിരുന്നല്ലോ. ഈ വീടിനേക്കാളും വല്യ ദിനോസറൊക്കെ അവിടെ ഉണ്ട്‌”. അമ്മാവന്‍ ഇതുകൂടെ പറഞ്ഞപ്പൊ മരുമോള്‍ കരച്ചിലിന്റെ വക്കിലെത്തി. അവള്‍ അടുത്തകാലത്തൊന്നും മലമ്പുഴ പോയിട്ടില്ല. അവസാനം സബ്ജക്റ്റ്‌ മാറ്റി ഞാനൊരു കരച്ചില്‍ സീന്‍ ഒഴിവാക്കി. രണ്ടും കൂടെ വീണ്ടും കളിയ്ക്കാന്‍ തുടങ്ങി.

കളിയൊക്കെ കഴിഞ്ഞ്‌ രണ്ടും എന്റെ അടുത്ത്‌ വന്ന്‌ സ്കൂളിലെ വിശേഷങ്ങള്‍ പറയാന്‍ തുടങ്ങി.
അടുത്തിരിയ്ക്കുന്ന കുട്ടി അടിച്ചു, വാട്ടര്‍ ബോട്ടിലിലെ വെള്ളം കട്ടു കുടിച്ചു തുടങ്ങിയ സാധാരണ കമ്പ്ലൈന്റുകളിലൂടെ പോകുമ്പോഴാണ് മരുമോള്‍ എന്നെ ഞെട്ടിയ്ക്കുന്ന ആ രഹസ്യം പറഞ്ഞത്‌.

“ഇവനില്ലേ... രണ്ട്‌ ഗേള്‍ഫ്രന്റ്സ്‌ ഉണ്ട്‌. ഒന്ന്‌ സ്കൂള്‍ ബസിലും ഒന്ന്‌ ക്ലാസിലും”.

ഞാന്‍ ഒരു സെക്കന്റ്‌ ആരാധനയോടെ എന്റെ അനിയനെ നോക്കി.
അമ്മമാര് വന്ന്‌ രണ്ടിനേം കൂട്ടിക്കൊണ്ട്‌ പോകുമ്പൊ ഞാന്‍ ചേച്ചിയോട്‌ ഈ കാര്യം പറഞ്ഞു.

“ഹൊ.. ഇവളൊക്കെ വലുതാവുന്നതോര്‍ത്ത്‌ എനിയ്കിപ്പൊഴേ പേടിയാ” ന്ന്‌ ചേച്ചി പറഞ്ഞുതീരും മുമ്പെ മോളുടെ കമന്റ്‌ വന്നു.
“അമ്മയുടെ കൂടെ സ്കൂളില്‍ പോകുന്നതോണ്ടാ എനിയ്ക്ക്‌‌ ബോയ്ഫ്രന്റ്സില്ലാത്തത്‌. എനിയ്ക്കും ഇനി അവന്റെ സ്കൂളില്‍ പോയാമതി”.