Friday, November 30, 2007

Police stories...

My friends R and R got married and moved to a new place. They were living happily (Yeah you read it correctly. Since they just started the journey... the mood was happy). One fine morning Mr.R told me about the house break. The person who broke in seemed to be in a hurry. He missed all the valuables. They have kept all their platinum, gold, silver, bronze jewelleries in the open and the poor guy wasted so much time in breaking open the Godrej lock for the 'thakkalippetti'. Finally the thakkalippetti gave in but the lock remained adamant. When he saw a camera inside thakkalippetti he was so happy. If they keep their Platinum, gold, silver, bronze jewelleries outside and protect the camera with a Godrej lock that should be something worth locking.

For my inforamtion R added that he was about to sell/throw away the camera and go for a new one. R was happy that the thief didnt take his newly purchased Playstation. (I am at a loss to find out why a newly married couple need a Playstation. I thought the first things to procure are stuff which prevent a sudden promotion. My mistake.)

As dutiful citizens they informed the police about this mishap and the SI inturn expressed his condolences.

Time went by and all the people involved including the thief forgot about the incident. Dogs in Bangalore expanded their attack on human beings from Rajaji Nagar to Indira Nagar to Marathahalli. Many a bollywood celebrity went in and out of jail. 456 new videos of Paris Hilton landed in internet.

One dull afternoon R got a call from the SI. Till that moment he didnt know that policemen also are proactive. The coversation went like this:

R : Hellooo
SI: Hellooooo. is this Mr.R ?
R : Yes.
SI: Namskara Sir, you remember me ?
R : Are you the guy from xxxxx bank who promised me platinum credit card with credit limit of 1 crore ?
SI: No Sir. One more try.
R : @#$%^**$$#. I dont want any Personal Loans you idiot. I told you hundred times.
SI: Sir you got it wrong again. I am the SI to whom you reported a housebreak and theft some time back.
R : (With all respect). Sorry Sir I didnt mean to scold you.
SI: OK. OK. Guess what... We caught the thief. Kindly drop in to the police station and identify your items Sir.
R : Thank you Sir. It was so nice of you to inform me.

After two three rounds of procrastination, it was with great pleasure the couple dropped into the police station. After pleasantry, SI asked them to identify their things. It was like shopping in a Mall. So Many items and different varieties. There was an SLR and the couple moved towards it to have a look. But the SI was a bit faster.

"Sir, That SLR is already identified. According to your complaint this is yours" and handed over their camera.

After checking, they found that the only thing worth a penny on that camera or the memory card was missing.

SI : Sir everyone has to make some sacrifices. It is your small share. We have tried real hard to catch this guy. Dont be an altruist be a little considerate. If you still want your memory card pay a small amount of 2500 and get your card or you can take home your camera without any charges and buy new card for the camera.

At this point Mrs R pulled a mobile from her handbag and did some basic calculus, geometry and algebra not necessarily in that order and came up with a suggestion that they can leave the camera in SI's safe custody and go for a newone.

There ends the story one.

My friend A was reaching a traffic signal in Bangalore on his bike. Signal was green and he was accelerating to cross the signal before it changes. But as he reached the signal it turned yellow. Vehicles from the other side started moving and A had to break real hard to stop his bike. Tyres screeched to a stop.

Out of nowhere a traffic policeman appeared and he pulled out the key from A's bike. All this happened in a fraction of a second that A didnt get enough time to react. He sat there wondering what next. Then one of the passersby, who witnessed this event, advised A to give something to the police man and solve the issue.

A started his futile argument with the Police Man (PM).

A : Sir I didnt do anything wrong. Then why am I getting penalized ?

PM: You crossed the yellow line.

A : No Sir. I didnt do that.

PM: OK. Give me 50 Rs. You can take the bike.

The poor guy heard it 15. What an idiot. When he checked his wallet, to his disbelief he found that he had only Rs 20 in cash and ofcourse, like any other IT employee, a bunch of debit/credit cards.

PM: Do I look like a joker? It is 50 not 15.

A : (silently)You will be a shame to jokers. (to the PM) I have only 20 with me right now.

By that time the signal turned green again and a cacophony of horns started.

PM gave the key back to A after taking 20.

To this day A is wondering why he had to pay 20 rupees when he didnt break any traffic rules.

That is story two.

I acted in 3rd.

It was for some Passport related stuff that I contacted the local police station here. I went there one morning and they asked me to come with some documents the next day. Next morning, I went there again, this time with 'documents'.

I was asked to come at 7 in the evening and meet the SI as he was the person to make the decision and the person with whom I was interacting so far was just doing a screening.

I met the SI in the evening. Everything went fine and I came out of the cabin and I met a Policeman at the door. Anxious to get the formalities completed that day itself. I started talking to him.

Me : Sir, is there anything else to be done ?
PM : Did you see the SI ?
Me : Yes.
PM : Did he tell you anything else to do?
Me : No.
PM : Then I guess you can leave.
Me : OK. Thank you sir.

I was so relieved that I started whistling my favourite tune on my way back.
I moved hardly 50 feet. Then I got a call. This was the police man at the screening. He asked me to comeback to the Police station quickly.
Piqued by curiosity, I went back. He was standing at the gate. Right there, standing he told me his sad story.

PM : Sir, We are all very poor. I have two nubile sisters and a virile father... err. brother. My mother is very ill. I am the only earning member in my family.

I pulled out a 100 rupee note from my pocket.

PM : Sir, this is the same story with all the other policemen here. I have to share this with others including the SI.

I pulled out a 50 rupee.

PM: By the way we know that you are getting 56 peanuts, 67 ground nuts and 10 coconuts. Why cant you give some more.

This info he got from one of the documents which I showed him, the bank statement. They clearly showed all the 'nuts' and also bolts.

I pulled out my purse and showed the entire contents or the remaining 100 rupee. He accepted that thankfully and wished me Good Night.

I learnt the exact meaning of "Curiosity killed the cat"


Dhanya said...

LOL.. our bangalooru pulize men are always like that.. gives a lot to laugh.. just think this is the tip we r paying for that entertainment ;)

Resma said...

Nice read...

The good thing is that atleast u thought of writing down these incidents of which some happened 1 1/2 years back :-)

Ranjith said...

Aliya... ethu kidilom!!!

Ninnekondu njan thottu!!!

ദീപു : sandeep said...

dhanya: yeah thats true. Almost all the guys driving in bangalore might have given the tip atleast once. :)

resma: Just thought of it. so wrote it down.

Ranjith: Aliya.. onnumillelum njan kurachukaalam ninte room mate allayirunno. Athinte gunam kaaniykkante.. ;)

Alameen said...

i have acted in a different version of the second police story.. I had to pay 200 Rs. In the end the @@###@$#$$#% PM gave me an advise (for free) that i shud be careful..

good writing

ദീപു : sandeep said...

Thanks alameen.
This story still goes on!!!!!!!!!